How to discover your story

The problem with non-fiction storytelling is that you’ve lived it. You’ve replayed the situations and interactions in your mind and relayed them to others countless times. You understand the complexity of it. In fact, I bet you can only see its complexity.

Life is messy but communication cannot be. When we communicate in this media saturated world, we need to be mindful that people can listen to or click on millions of things. If your message isn’t clear, they won’t listen very long. You have about 30 seconds to hook someone before they click on something else. You need to communicate in a compelling and thoughtful way. If not, it’s game over.

So, where do you begin? Compelling stories teach someone about something. These stories inspire, challenge, motivate, convict, delight, and so on. Stories from people we’ve never heard of need to teach us something. Here are five steps to help you get started.

Step 1: It’s not about you.

Say this, again, with emphasis: It’s not about you! This is what distinguishes this kind of storytelling from the kinds of testimonies we share in our churches, small groups, and with friends. Have you ever thought about the function of a testimony? They help people in your faith community get to know you better. Testimonies tell us about your life and how God has worked in your life. Yes, a testimony is also about the role God has played in your life. The problem is that this is a chronological account of your relationship to God. This is about you and your life, not about an idea.

Step 2: Develop your idea.

The idea is essential to storytelling because you want the audience to be able to step into it, to become part of it. Yes, you will may be talking about personal things but if your story focuses on the idea, others will resonate with that idea and see themselves in the story. The best idea-driven stories create a world where the audience sees themselves (not you!) as the main supporting character. Who's the main character? The idea.

The biggest mistake speakers and writers make is thinking that this is their last opportunity to communicate, not their next one. This is one of many opportunities. It’s the next one. When you realize this, so much of the pressure goes away. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve seen a speaker collapse under the tremendous weight of self-imposed pressure. So, you have this opportunity to talk about an idea. What idea do you want to share? It can only be a single idea. You aren’t allowed to use any commas or conjunctions. Just a simple idea no longer than a single sentence. Yes, only one sentence! Typically you need a conversation partner to help you narrow this down. Please contact me and we can have this conversation!

Step 3: Brainstorm examples.

What are examples or antidotes you could use to show the audience what you mean? Brainstorm these possible ideas. Start with the obvious stories and examples, moving on to the less obvious ones. You should have no fewer than twelve different examples or antidotes. Don’t do anything with these. In fact, just let these ideas sit with you. Mull them over and move on to Step 4.

Step 4: Be deliberate about how you want the audience to feel.

I know this may seem odd but please don’t skip this step. How do you want the audience to feel when you’ve finished. Inspired? Angry? Convicted? Hopeful? Next, imagine what emotions they need to feel to get them to the end. Think about this as an emotional journey. Emotion drives reason. We do things rationally because of emotion(s), whether we recognize this or not. We often want to downplay emotions and the role they play in our lives, as if they are things to be eliminated because they make us act irrationally. But this isn’t the case. Emotions drive us all, it just depends if we acknowledge their role in our lives. Good communicators understand this and think deliberately about the role of emotions in helping audiences to understand what we are saying.

Be deliberate about how you want the audience to feel at the end, then think about how you can get the audience there. How you want the audience to feel will function as the guardrails for your story. The guardrails will keep you on the rode, focused on the main idea. If you skip this step, you will write a dozen drafts before you stumble on the kind of story you want to tell.

Step 5: Start writing.

Have your idea and emotion(s) visible as you write. Some people like to create a rough outline, while others just like to let their fingers do the talking. Either works as long as you have these two things in the front of your mind as you write.

Conclusion

We all have stories to tell. We all have ideas that we've learned from other people or situations. Putting yourself out there can be daunting, sharing a part of yourself to people you've never met. That is real courage and takes a giving heart who wants to help others. Be strong and courageous. Share a story of hope, healing, and community that could be a blessing to others. Allow us to bear witness to the work of God, among the people of God.